(Later in the show, Kendrick Lamar refers to the tables as cute as hell.)
That album is so fire it makes Trump want to learn Spanish.
This is the room where it all goes down.
Trevor NoahMichael Buckner/Variety via Getty Images
Look at all the faces.
We have the best musicians, best performers, best producers in the world.
Every song on TikTok that you hear, these are the people who made them.
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – FEBRUARY 05: (L-R) Dwayne Johnson and Adele attend the 65thGRAMMY Awardsat Crypto.com Arena on February 05, 2023 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images for The Recording Academy )
Here were more highlights from his opening monologue:
Beyonce is in the room, people!
You understand how amazing this is, right?
The renaissance was just pictures of grapes and stuff.
Beyonce took it up another level.
Thats how powerful that was.
Harry Styles is here tonight, everybody!
I mean, what can you say about this man that hasnt been said?
Incredible album, mind-blowing tour … women throw their pants at this man!
And then he puts them on and he looks better in them than they do!
Easily the worlds sexiest man.
There is no competition.
Sex symbol of the globe.
Especially now since they killed off the Green M&M.
Weve got LAs very own Kendrick Lamar in the building.
The man is super talented.
Hes got Pulitzers, hes got Grammys.
His album was a therapy session that earned him multiple Grammy nominations.
All my therapy ever got me was helping me overcome my childhood trauma.
Lizzo is joining us.
Look at that smile.
Taking over the world.
Killing the haters on instagram and Twitter.
The most famous flute player in the world since … Im sure there were others.
Taylor Swift sold more albums than any other human on the planet last year.
The only music we listen to more than Taylor was the hold music for Southwest Airlines.
Tonight, my job is just to be the host, the best host I can be.
And to do that, I venture to know my guests.
For instance, I know LL Cool J really loves breakfast cereals.
Thats some of the research.
I know Cardi B is obsessed with presidents.
Thats a real thing.
I also know Adele loves tea.
Her Vegas show is phenomenal.
You never met him, right?
I found out hes a huge fan of yours, too.
No, I dont have Dwayne Johnson here tonight.
But I do have someone called The Rock.
And guess who came out … Black Adam himself, who leaned in to kiss a very happy Adele.
